I KNOW AN OLD LADY

(FOLK SONG)

 

I know an old lady who swallowed a fly,

I don’t know why she swallowed a fly.

Perhaps, she’ll die.

 

I know an old lady who swallowed a spider

That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her.

She swallowed the spider to catch the fly,

But I don’t know why she swallowed the fly.

Perhaps, she’ll die.

 

I know an old lady who swallowed a bird –

How absurd to swallow a bird.

She swallowed the bird to catch the spider

That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her.

She swallowed the spider to catch the fly,

But I don’t know why she swallowed the fly.

Perhaps, she’ll die.

 

I know an old lady who swallowed a cat –

Fancy that – to swallow a cat.

She swallowed the cat to catch the bird,

She swallowed the bird to catch the spider

That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her.

She swallowed the spider to catch the fly,

But I don’t know why she swallowed the fly.

Perhaps, she’ll die.

 

I know an old lady who swallowed a dog –

What a hog – to swallow a dog.

She swallowed the dog to catch the cat,

She swallowed the cat to catch the bird,

She swallowed the bird to catch the spider

That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her.

She swallowed the spider to catch the fly,

But I don’t know why she swallowed the fly.

Perhaps, she’ll die.

 

I know an old lady who swallowed a goat,

She just opened her throat and swallowed the goat.

She swallowed the goat to catch the dog,

She swallowed the dog to catch the cat,

She swallowed the cat to catch the bird,

She swallowed the bird to catch the spider

That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her.

She swallowed the spider to catch the fly,

But I don’t know why she swallowed the fly.

Perhaps, she’ll die.

 

I know an old lady who swallowed a cow,

I don’t know how she swallowed the cow.

She swallowed the cow to catch the goat,

She swallowed the goat to catch the dog,

She swallowed the dog to catch the cat,

She swallowed the cat to catch the bird,

She swallowed the bird to catch the spider

That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her.

She swallowed the spider to catch the fly,

But I don’t know why she swallowed the fly.

Perhaps, she’ll die.

 

- I know an old lady who swallowed a horse.

- Is she dead?

- OF COURSE!