Four Characters of the BritishIt is interesting to know something about the people who live in England, Ireland, Scotland and Wales. The best way of describing them to you is to «invent» four different characters on our own. They are Michael Wallingford-Smith, from England; Paddy O’Donoghue, from Ireland; Robby McGregor, from Scotland; David Jones, from Wales. The stories about them are meant to be funny. What Is an Englishman? This is Michael Wallingford-Smith. He is an Englishman. He was born on November 23 rd, 1960. He lives in a small country town outside London. Every morning, he goes to his local station, buys a copy of The Times and catches the 8.14 train to London. (He says: «I catch the 8.14 to Town».) Mr. Wallingford-Smith works there for a bank in the City. He has worked there for twenty-four years, and he has never missed the 8.14 train. Mr. Wallingford-Smith has a pretty wife, called Marion. They have two children: a boy, called Mark, who is thirteen, and a girl, called Sylvia, who is nineteen. Mark goes to the same school his father went to, and Sylvia is engaged to a young man who also works for a bank in the City. Mr. Wallingford-Smith likes: The Times, the Queen, money, people who call him «Sir», big dogs, and his umbrella. He doesn’t like: the Rolling Stones, and girls in mini-skirts. What Is an Irishman? This is Paddy O’Donoghue. He is an Irishman. He was born on March 15th, 1963. Paddy lives in a grey brick house with five rooms, in Dublin, the capital of Southern Ireland. He dislikes work very much; if he didn’t have to work, he would be a very happy man. He says: «Well, you see, I’ve got a wife and six children and they all need food and clothes». So to earn money, Paddy writes about horse-racing every week for a Dublin newspaper. Paddy loves talking and telling stories. If he didn’t have to work every day, he says, he knows exactly what he would do: he would get up late in the morning and eat a big plate of bacon for breakfast. He would then go to his favourite «pub» and have three glasses of beer, and tell everybody what he did the day before. In the evening, he would have a big meal and then dance and sing with his wife, and friends. Paddy likes: a good fight, his coloured ties, the bar-maid in the pub, singing, beer, and Ireland. He doesn’t like: rich Englishmen, people who don’t listen to his stories, and work.
What Is a Scotsman? This is Robby McGregor. He is a Scotsman. He was born on August 6th, 1965. Robby’s house is in the hills, in the north of Scotland. He is married and has three children – all boys. He is very proud of his kilt and the McGregor family tartan. He goes to work every day wearing trousers but he wears a kilt at the weekend and on special occasions. Robby works in a factory which makes tartans. He says: «Only true Scotsmen should wear the kilt. I am a true Scotsman». Robby, like most Scotsmen, is a proud man. He likes to work hard and earn a lot of money, but doesn’t like to spend it. (He always feels guilty if he goes out for an evening and enjoys himself.) Robby’s youngest son is learning to play the bagpipes – Scotland’s traditional instrument. This makes Robby feel very proud. The bagpipes, however, are a difficult instrument to play: they sound beautiful if someone plays them well but they sound horrible if a learner tries to play them. Robby likes: his kilt, fishing, Scotch whisky, and the Highland Games. He dislikes: people who say he looks stupid in his kilt, the English, and people who wear kilts and are not Scotsmen.
What Is a Welshman? This is David Jones. He is a Welshman. He was born on March 1st, 1958. David lives in a mining village in South Wales. Most of the men in his village work in a coal-mine. Every day, after work, they meet in «The Black Spade» and drink and sing together. David loves to sing: he sings in chapel every Sunday, and he sings in the coal-mine when he is working. David’s wife, Glynis, says: «He sings in his bath every night, too». David speaks Welsh, his country’s language. But if he speaks Welsh in England, Ireland or Scotland, nobody can understand him. He thinks that everybody should speak Welsh because it is a very musical language. David’s eldest son, John, plays rugby for his school team; his daughter, Jenny, is learning to play the harp, the national instrument of Wales. David sometimes takes his wife and children to London, but he thinks it is too big. He doesn’t like London very much because none of his friends live there, and there are no mountains in London. David likes: music, poetry, fresh air, singing in the bath, his family, and his friends in the coal-mine. He doesn’t like: people who say the Welsh language is old-fashioned, big cities, and English cuisine.
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